I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
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Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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