What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
