I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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