There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Boobs are out for the taking
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
