You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
