But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize