who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i think i scared a bird with my dick
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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