I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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