I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
