Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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