If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
