Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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