i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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