thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Someone shit on the floor
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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