its not stalking. its research.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
