Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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