I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We are all done wearing pants today
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