Say something about gay babies.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
