She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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