For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
