I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
