put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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