Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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