you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
my liver is dry heaving
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
