Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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