maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
