My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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