dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
