I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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