Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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