we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
