guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
