i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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