my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there was a trapeze. enough said
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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