my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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