New invention idea: vibrating tampons
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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