Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
