You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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