she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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