i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
