OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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