There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
