i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
