its not stalking. its research.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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