sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
