Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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