dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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