saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're using joints as your birthday candles
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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