I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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