Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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