The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
