I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
