I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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