Sry I called you an 8
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
