Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
