used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
