I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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