I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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