Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
