I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
