New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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