Who wears a wallet chain?!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
