Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
