Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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