How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
